Tyrades! By Danny Tyree
As Mother’s Day approaches, the political scene makes me think of an old spiritual: “Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child.”
Except that the absence of maternal qualities in our Movers and Shakers in government and the media make me mournfully sing “Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Nation.”
Moms are supposed to kiss our boo-boos, wield the Bactine and provide a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. Agitators in society settle for teaching us to rip the scabs off wounds.
Moms come running to deal with crises. Our leaders say, “Kick the problem down the road a few months. Then we’ll form a committee to debate the procedures for forming a subcommittee to hire a consultant…”
Moms use old photographs to while away a rainy afternoon. Our leaders use them for an “Aha!” moment. (“See this 1982 photo of the candidate in a crowd scene that includes the man who will later become podiatrist to a famous bigot? Coincidence? I think not.”)
Moms risk resentment when they act as a filter for the kids we invite to a sleepover. Our leaders have us in bed with some of the vilest individuals and organizations imaginable, both foreign and domestic.
Moms patiently teach us the language, transitioning us from gibberish to meaningful expression. The cultural elite treat perfectly serviceable words such as “illegal immigrant” like the bogeyman, while twisting words such as “tax hike,” “bipartisan,” “budget cut,” “amnesty” and “fairness” to the extent that they’re right back to gibberish.
Moms use bedtime stories and lullabies to promote sweet dreams. Politicians leave future generations with a nightmare of debt.
Moms want us and our friends to succeed. The rabble rousers in society revel in using envy to tear down those who succeed.
Moms might tell a little white lie about Uncle Joe’s delicate condition or the disappearance of a goldfish, but our leaders will self-servingly cherry-pick data, tell bald-face lies and smear critics who get too close to the truth.
Moms scrimp and save and teach us the value of the dollar. Our representatives do everything they can to devalue the dollar, practically passing the Full Employment of Printing Press Operators Act.
Moms try to help us with a few simple rules. Our leaders bury us under hundreds of thousands of regulations.
Moms know that someday we must fly the nest. Our vote-seeking “statesmen” know they must keep us forever dependent.
Moms teach us to use our indoor voice, not the shrill, one-sided screaming of political “dialogue.”
Moms balance compassion and common sense when they hear pleas of “But, Mom, he followed me home…” Rulers with ulterior motives throw national security and limited resources out the window when faced with a chance to feign compassion.
Moms give us pause with the old “If all your friends were jumping off a cliff…” question. Our leaders encourage us to rush in a certain direction because of how an issue is “trending.”
Moms make sacrifices. Our politicians make meaningless gestures, while piling up the perks of power and carving out exemptions and loopholes for themselves and their cronies.
On Mother’s Day, give your mother a big hug. And I hope you’ll take a moment to pray that this country develops a maternal instinct.
©2013 Danny Tyree. Danny welcomes reader e-mail responses at email@example.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades”. Danny’s’ weekly column is distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. newspaper syndicate. For info on using columns, please email Cari Dawson Bartley at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 800 696 7561.