Not sure I can improve upon Darrell Hammond’s impression of Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live. But I’ll add my two cents anyway.

Take the trademark helmet hair — please! I’ve never been able to make sense of it. Clearly, the teenage Trump had an impressive head of hair, slicked back with Brylcreem and ending in a ducktail. A 1950s teen-angel, at least in his own mind. But his hair has thinned over the years, and the ducktail has become a bit unruly. Weird thing is, I can’t tell how much it has thinned out, or in which spots, exactly — such is the care with which he combs and sprays it. There DOES appear to be a bare strip of scalp climbing up from between his eyebrows. Occasionally, some men go bald in a haphazard fashion, rather than develop a distinctly receding, hairline. I guess this is what has happened to Trump: He’s too proud of his hair for a traditional comb-over. Some people swear that The Donald’s got a rug, but why on earth would he want one that looks a moth-eaten raccoon cap? I just don’t get it.

Can’t fathom the eyebrows, either. It’s like Trump lets the errant hairs grow, then combs them up until they mesh with his mop-top. The result is, the man appears either to have no forehead or is part werewolf. As any man 50 and over can tell you, each new year brings a new crop of errant hairs, whether sprouting from one’s ears, poking stiffly out of a cheekbone, or raising one’s eyebrows to new heights. I have skimpy eyebrows myself, but some of the eyebrow hairs have taken on a life of their own. My barber snips them, without my even asking, as part of my regular, twelve-dollar haircut. Seems like Trump’s hairdresser could offer the same courtesy, seeing as he’s probably paid four-hundred bucks per visit.

Finally, there’s Trump’s pendulous bottom lip, all swollen and glisteny! And the way he contorts his mouth while talking helps make The Donald a walking caricature of himself. The more he emphasizes a particular word, the more he contorts.

As for Carrie Prejean, Miss California, she’s lovely alright. But her face is a bit too “perfect,” and her physique is not entirely genuine. Somewhat assembly-line, in my opinion — more to The Donald’s taste than mine. And she’s not of much interest in terms of caricature, except for her Fox News political views — though beauty queens are often surprisingly easy to draw. Ex-wife Ivana was much better for caricature, even after the extensive plastic surgery. She just has too darn much to work with!

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