Bill Schorr / Cagle Cartoons

By Rick Jensen

Thanks to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, the legality of polygamy will go to the Supreme Court and polygamists will win.

Historically, polygamy has violently disrupted societal growth, directly leading to crime, riots and eventual banning of the practice.

Researchers have found that polygamist societies, specifically polygynous, in which one man marries multiple women, produce more rapes, crimes of theft and a decidedly unhappy population of middle and lower income males who find a lack of compatible female mates due to their wealthy male competitors marrying the most attractive of the species.

Feminists will now likely scream and yell at this historical fact, claiming today’s modern female would never demean herself by marrying for fame or money.

Uh-huh. 15 minutes scanning the cable “reality” shows where thousands of men and women line up for auditions indicates otherwise.

Research led by the University of British Columbia is considered to be the most in-depth and robust:

“Historically, the emergence of monogamous marriage is particularly puzzling since the very men who most benefit from polygynous marriage—wealthy aristocrats—are often those most influential in setting norms and shaping laws. Yet, here we are.”

“Faced with high levels of intra-sexual competition and little chance of obtaining even one long-term mate, unmarried, low-status men will heavily discount the future and more readily engage in risky status-elevating and sex-seeking behaviours. This will result in higher rates of murder, theft, rape, social disruption, kidnapping (especially of females), sexual slavery and prostitution.”

“…monogamy reduces intra-household conflict, leading to lower rates of child neglect, abuse, accidental death and homicide.”

You can almost hear the polygamists screaming, “Bigot! Hater!”

Knowing polygamy has seriously damaged societies, why would anyone presume it will go to the Supreme Court and win?

First of all, the UBC researchers had the audacity to publish the fact that “The infusion of norms related to monogamous marriage into the supernaturally reinforced set of beliefs propounded by Christianity may have been crucial to the long-term success of this marriage system.”

Christianity has been successfully redefined in popular culture by western secularists and the media as a religion of “hate,” so if Christians promote a standard, it’s hateful and must be repealed. Gay marriage and limiting adoption to heterosexuals are the two most outstanding examples.

Second, there is already a case riding the rails up the tracks of courts.

Judge Clark Waddoups, the 15th judge of the United States District Court for the District of Utah, struck down Utah’s cohabitation ban in the bigamy law, finding it intruded upon the free exercise of religion. Utah is likely taking this to the next court.

Waddoups actually stated any other previous court decision outlawing polygamy is “another racist or orientalist observation…”

Aha! A federal judge has declared opposition to polygamy is “racist!”

This will look very effective on professionally printed protest signs atop the steps of the Supreme Court, where at least one justice has expressed a constitutional redress to the idea based on the court’s decision on federal protection for gay marriage.

Clarence Thomas stated,” Indeed, from the standpoint of history and tradition, a leap from opposite-sex marriage to same-sex marriage is much greater than one from a two-person union to plural unions, which have deep roots in some cultures around the world. If the majority is willing to take the big leap, it is hard to see how it can say no to the shorter one.”

Polygamy may also find male proponents fantasizing of multiple wives who all work to bring home the bacon to the house husband.

Careful, guys. Instead of just one wife to “educate” you to your personal flaws, you’ll have The Wives Team one at a time and then en masse.

That, plus the inevitable, “Does wife Rebecca’s butt look better in her jeans than mine?”


© Copyright 2015 Rick Jensen, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Rick Jensen is Delaware’s award-winning conservative talk show host on WDEL, streaming live on from 1pm — 4pm EST. Contact Rick at [email protected], or follow him on Twitter @Jensen1150WDEL.