Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.” – Humphrey Bogart in “Casablanca.”

I am perturbed by the recent rash of interviewees who enlighten mere peons with the blanket declaration, “There are no coincidences.”

Oh, sure. I believe actions have consequences. I have benefited from hunches and “gut feelings.” I have been helped by guardian angels, although I worry about them talking behind my back. (“SOME angels got to announce the birth of the Prince of Peace. Me? I get to warn an idiot writer not to split an infinitive!”)

But overall, we have too many philosopher wannabes going down the Swedish psychiatrist Carl Jung rabbit hole or pontificating about quantum entanglements.

I understand their frustration, but “Stuff happens” fits on a bumper sticker much better than “Stuff happens… because of a complex convergence of interconnected truths and archetypes signifying…”

Some people are overeager to recognize connections. (“I was watching a rerun of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ with Sheldon knocking on Leonard’s girlfriend’s door, and when I went to the convenience market, you’re not going to believe what was in the ‘Take a penny, leave a penny’ basket on the counter!!!”)

I don’t deny that my subconscious mind shares knowledge to guide my waking hours; but most often that entails my subconscious advising me, “If a long-lost friend suddenly calls you up right after you inherit a million dollars, just say, ‘Huh!’ and get on with your life.”

Don’t get me started on the mumbo jumbo about the “collective unconscious” and the transcendent shared heritage of our species. (Granted, that would explain why I sometimes think, “For a good time, call Cornelia, the chariot-maker’s daughter.”)

Maybe “the Universe” is trying to tell you something; but if the universe had that much pull, would it have allowed astronomers to diss some of its most noble spheres as “gas giants”?

And maybe “the Fates” are nudging you toward some predestined outcome, but I don’t have a lot of respect for mythical manipulators if they’re downing shots every time two friends have to exclaim, “Jinx!” or two women wear the same dress to a party.

Everyone can benefit from a good epiphany every now and then, but it’s possible to suffer a “deer in the headlights” reaction. (“Every decision I’ve ever made in my life has brought me to this point in time…ooops, it’s gone…but the same goes for this current point and the next one and…Stop the world! I want to get off!”)

It’s inadvisable to meander through life dismissing everything as a completely random occurrence, but it also takes a huge amount of hubris to think you can decipher countless supposed “messages.”

(“I put on my thinking cap, meditated for a bit and said to myself, ‘Self, you and your psyche have got it all figured out. You’re all that and a bag of chips! But are the chips really chips, or do they represent a primal need to embrace alternate realities that transcend sour cream and onion???’”)

Sometimes there is a deeper meaning to synchronicities in our lives. And sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence. I hope you will join me in taking the middle ground.

But…it’s a little spooky that the song “Stuck in the Middle with You” just popped up on my radio.

Don’t play it again, Sam. Don’t play it again!

–

Copyright 2025 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”